Sharp Edits #Six

...Happy Halloween

by Mariel Reed
Halloween is quite possibly the best holiday ever. It far surpasses any holiday where large feasts or the receipt of gifts are not the order of the day. Halloween also does not require the anxiety and stress of that last minute shuffle to buy the one present you forgot to get for your aunt or uncle. Avoiding the exchange of uncomfortable hugs with distant relatives is easily done on Halloween. Why? Because you are probably off gallivanting in somewhere in a tutu, a pirate hat and vampire fangs.

Of course Christmas, synonymous with gluttony and incapacitation (after shoving as much food as humanly possible down your esophagus), can never be topped. There is no better feeling than the 4+ hour, self-induced food coma. Almost. I find the feeling you get when you have eaten so many sweets in one sitting, you can feel the sugar pumping through your veins; or when your costume (that you slaved over to make absolutely perfect) is instantly recognised completely thrilling.

Halloween is the one day when you can be somebody and nobody at the same time. You can dress as someone/something you aspire to, or you can do just the opposite. It's the one day you can dress up like a complete idiot and get away with it. It's the only time you can reach into the back of your closet and blindly pick out the most appropriate outfit.

The costume is the most important part of Halloween. If you are like me, you will have next year's costume planned by November 1st. The costume is your disguise, your escape for that one evening. Your costume of choice doesn't have to be original, obscure or even creative. There's nothing wrong with a good, old fashioned witch. However, the less conventional, the better. Your costume should be something you feel comfortable wearing as well as something that is generally accepted as awesome. And no, dousing yourself in fake blood does not count.

Last week, The Guardian suggested going as John Galliano. That is awesome. Not only for reasons unspoken, but also because it is a testament to resourcefulness. The article states that a pirate outfit would suffice. The best costumes are ones made from scratch; made from what is available. You probably do not have a pirate costume at hand, but if you do, this justifies the fact that you may not have yet thrown it away from last Halloween.

Side note: if you buy your costumes, the cheap polyester ones that come in plastic bags, you should not be allowed to celebrate Halloween. Especially you, fashion folk. It's more than likely there are some crazy/regretted purchases hiding somewhere in your wardrobe.

The fact of the matter is, on Halloween, you can literally dress up as anything you want. Why be lazy and buy a costume. And please, no "sexy" outfits. Sexy cats, sexy cops or sexy clowns are just not attractive. Oh, the whore-rror! Halloween should not be an excuse to put your naughty bits on display nor should it be an excuse to fulfill your beau's odd fantasies in public.

Halloween is the time to go crazy and be ridiculous. Be spooky, be ghoulish. Be the least attractive, most disgusting and still be the coolest looking person in the room. And so, I bid you Happy Halloween!